The Phillies Pitching Shuffle

If it isn't obvious by my blogs and their length, I love to write. I always have. That is the reason why I want to be a sportswriter. I typically write about topics I have interests in or extensive knowledge. I'm not going to write about something I don't know about myself. It is misleading. If I know about, I'll offer a take but if I don't, I'm not going to try to pretend I'm a genius in that topic. Well anyway, I love the Phillies, again as if that isn't obvious, and a few years ago I wrote my first Phillies based poem. It was during the 2008 playoff run. I'll post it sometime if I can ever find it. It was a play on the last name's of the players and I thought it turned out pretty well. Ever since then my love for Phillies and baseball related poems in general began. I even wrote a school paper which was based on Emerson's Leaves of Grass about baseball.

So tonight as I was watching the Phillies, a poem idea popped into my mind. Now, I have no idea why I was thinking of the Chicago Bears Superbowl Shuffle, which in case you haven't seen it, I have posted it at the bottom of this paragraph. The Superbowl Shuffle gave me the idea to write a poem about the Phillies pitchers and as a result the Phillies Pitching Shuffle was born.

Now typically I don't share my stuff because I didn't think it was that good but a facebook group I am in aptly titled, Real Philly Phans looked like the perfect place to share some of my work. After posting it I got so many positive comments and thoughts that some people even told me to sell it to the Phillies. I don't think I'll take it that far because I'm pretty sure if the Phillies used it they would get sued by the Chicago Bears anyway so I decided the next best thing would be to post it here. I know my blog isn't read by millions but I appreciate the readers and page views I do have.

So for the first time ever being released to the entire internet, I present to you my first attempt at rap, The Phillies Pitching Shuffle, dedicated to the Real Philly Phans of facebook!

We are the Phillies pitching crew
Doing our best to bring a world series to you
We pitch so well it gives other teams fright
Either during the day or the dead of night
But we're not here to cause no trouble
We're just here to do the Phillies Pitching Shuffle

Yo, the name’s Roy but you can call me Doc

And I’m the one to start this thing off

You can’t hit me, don’t even try

I’m perfect you know and I wouldn’t lie

My pitches are nasty, have you seen them move?

Get matched up against me and I’m betting you’ll lose.

I’m just here to make hitters look silly

I mean after all, I do pitch for Philly

We are the Phillies pitching crew
Doing our best to bring a world series to you
We pitch so well it gives other teams fright
Either during the day or the dead of night
But we're not here to cause no trouble
We're just here to do the Phillies Pitching Shuffle

First name’s Cliff, last name’s Lee

Major league hitters don’t want to face me

I pitch like a god, I hit like one too

What can I say that’s what I’m here to do

I’m a Cy Young winner, that’s no lie

When I throw complete game shut outs I make managers cry

Back in Philly for my second tour

They got a ring in 08 but I’m here to add more

We are the Phillies pitching crew
Doing our best to bring a world series to you
We pitch so well it gives other teams fright
Either during the day or the dead of night
But we're not here to cause no trouble
We're just here to do the Phillies Pitching Shuffle

Cole Hamels here and I’ve got to say

The boys and I are a-okay

Coming up with this awesome team

Really is any big leaguer’s dream

When I take to the mound my teammates say

“Looks like we’re gonna get a win today

So watch out if you’ve got to hit against me

I am after all World Series MVP

We are the Phillies pitching crew
Doing our best to bring a world series to you
We pitch so well it gives other teams fright
Either during the day or the dead of night
But we're not here to cause no trouble
We're just here to do the Phillies Pitching Shuffle

Don’t forget about me, Lil Roy’s the name

Pitching consistently is the point of my game

I used to be an Astro like Lidge and Pence

But then the Phils called up Uncle Ed and I’ve been here ever since

My pitching in October makes hitters yield

I’ve pitched, I’ve hit and I’ve even played right field

So when I pitch every fifth day

You’d be smart to get out of the way

We are the Phillies pitching crew
Doing our best to bring a world series to you
We pitch so well it gives other teams fright
Either during the day or the dead of night
But we're not here to cause no trouble
We're just here to do the Phillies Pitching Shuffle

Hey everybody this is your boy Vance

When I pitch I put hitters in a trance

I may be a rookie and new to the rotation

But that don’t mean I ain’t got the motivation

I’m known around the league for my quirky style

I wear glasses, and a Mohawk; ladies say I’ve got a nice smile

So be prepared if you’re facing me or my mates

We’re called the five aces and we’re certainly first rate

We are the Phillies pitching crew
Doing our best to bring a world series to you
We pitch so well it gives other teams fright
Either during the day or the dead of night
But we're not here to cause no trouble
We're just here to do the Phillies Pitching Shuffle

* So if anyone here is good at writing music, let me know because I'd love to give these words a tune, and then of course contact the Phillies pitchers about filming the music video.